By Kevin Smith
Anybody who hasn’t been living under a rock over the last couple of years knows that, for boys, long hair is back. Whether straight, wavy, shaggy, or afro-ed, the hair once reserved for the hippies and English rock bands is now everywhere — from pop-rock superstars like Fall Out Boy and Green Day to nearly all the males that roam the campus of Avon. Short hair is slowly becoming the new taboo as styles of the past get ensnared in the hairs of the new generation. For boys who have enough maturity to sport hair in other places, this means beard growing is becoming a trend of sorts, immortalized by cries of, “Dude, I have hair on my chin!” that echo throughout the nation.
But how will this trend of growth… grow in the future? It may seem like every frontier has been covered in hair styles, from the braided goatee to the powdered wig. But as the world changes, so will the trends of the day, and the long hair trend will extend to a part of the body more famously known for its ability to soak shirts and release stenches strong enough to kill a small rabbit.
Let us focus to today, where the students on campus are looking like they did years ago, except for one crucial difference: the long clusters of hair coming from their ARMPITS. Yes, the trends of today will extend in unprecedented parallels to the hair stemming from the underarm. Students will stop using deodorant, and substitute it with gel and hairspray just like they do with their head-hair. Neo-hippies will grow it out until it reaches a length that comes out of their shirts and they’ll never wash it. People going into the military will have it cut to the root. Punks will dye it, cake it with gel, and spike it into mohawks 2 feet long. Rastafarians will grow it into dreadlocks that touch the ground. The trend will emanate its stench throughout the world until all the people of earth will have armpit hair long enough to bridge and unify the world!
At this point in the article, those with some rationality not obliterated by blind optimism may think, “Wow this is probably the most disturbing thing I’ve ever read.” The sad thing is, it is so disturbing that humankind could conceive pushing something so far.
There is, however, a way to stop this before it gets out of hand (or,rather, out of armpit!). First, the current head hair and facial obsessions must stop. Boys must start cutting their hair and shaving their faces again if they hope to ever save humanity from the onslaught brought by grotesquely long parts intentionally concealed by most clothing. The hair they part with can be donated to organizations like Locks of Love for people who need them.It can also be burned in sacrificial rituals- nothing’s abnormal when your saving humanity!
So boys of Avon, for goodness sake, cleanup, and if someone makes fun of you for having short hair next time you go to Chipotle, just hold your head up high and be satisfied that they’ll be the object of scorn once again in the near future.
By Ryan Phillips
Flik Food Service has redefined the way students, faculty, and friends of the school view Avon Old Farms dining. From a redesigned refectory to a reinvented menu, Flik undoubtedly provides a spark in the day-to-day life of students and faculty alike. The food is a large part of the fantastic start to the 2013-2014 school year.
The attitude towards dining at Avon has completely changed from a year ago. A survey taken last year indicated that only 37% of the student body enjoyed meals at Avon. In contrast, this year lines are longer than ever, with kids eagerly waiting to see just what’s in store for their taste buds. On the rare occasion a student or faculty member doesn’t find the entrée appealing, he or she can choose from a variety of alternative stations such as the deli sandwich station, pasta bar, salad bar, or mixed salad bar. Flik goes further than simply cooking foods Avonians find tasty. Their number one priority is cooking fresh, healthy meals that accommodate challenging classroom environments and athletic arenas.
Students and faculty alike love to see the hard-working, talented kitchen staff finally getting the respect they deserve. “We’ve got outstanding chefs back there, we’ve just never had the resources to show them off” said Mr. Kirschner, the Director of Dining Services at Avon Old Farms, when asked about his staff. The dining services allow Avon to fire on all cylinders. Kids are awake and engaged in the classroom, competing at a high level on the playing fields, staying on campus during the weekends, and putting out incredible artwork week in and week out. Mr. Doyle, the Dean of Students, says, “This is the best start to a school year I’ve seen in my time here.” It is safe to say nearly the entire community would agree, and Flik Food Service deserves the credit.
By Brad Touponce
My experience at Avon Old Farms has been a long, eventful, and rewarding one. It all began in the fall of 2010 when I moved into Pelican Dorm. I was terrified, anxious, and most of all curious. Living at school was an entirely new experience for me. I like to believe that I knew what to expect, that I was ready for the adventure of living with my soon-to-be friends. In retrospect, I had no clue what was coming my way. That awkward first night in the dorm was the start to one of the best experiences of my life. I made friends such as Seamus Donovan and Nick Tarchis that I’m close with to this day, and most likely will be in touch with for many years to come.
The “Avon Experience” isn’t just going to class and living in the dorm, it’s much more than that. We Avonians pride ourselves on our commitment to being a brotherhood. I personally believe that being a member of the “brotherhood” is the overarching theme of this school. The brotherhood is what makes this school such a special place, and it’s not more evident than it’s on the athletic fields. I have been a part of a team each of my four years here at Avon. Regardless of the the base and pinnacle of the sports that I elect to participate in; I’ve always experienced the brotherhood at every level. This concept is something very difficult to explain, and even more difficult to duplicate. One will always know that his brothers will stand behind him. I have never been so proud to be a part of anything than I am being part of the Avon Brotherhood.
As I battle my way through my fourth and final year, I couldn’t be more sure of anything; enrolling at Avon Old Farms as a little fourteen-year-old freshman was the best decision that I’ve ever made. With the support of my four hundred brothers I’ve learned and experienced new things and have been encouraged to step outside of my comfort zone, allowing me to find my passions. Avon has turned me into an independent young man with aspirations to succeed. Even though the journey entailed many obstacles, I will always cherish the ability to be able to call myself an Avonian.
By Obum Njeze
As I stepped on to the beautiful campus of Old Farms, igniting a star to my last and most glorious year, I could not help but feel a positive rush rushing through my body. After being at Avon for four years I must say that this year has started off with highest sense of community throughout all of my time here. After the first week where everyone starts to get to know his new brothers, I couldn’t help but notice that everyone had started to mesh pretty quickly. I saw students screaming from across the Village green attempting to receive the attention of their newly made friends. Giuseppe Reese-Mellone, President of social activities, has improved the weekend experiences her at Avon in these first couple of weeks. Brian Imbus returned to Avon this fall, succeeding in hypnotizing a group of students. “Five & A- Dime” was another great idea for a school dance or activity. Trips to “The Big E”and to Six Flags were also great successes. Likewise with Homecoming and the Pep rally coming up, it’s surely shaping up to be another great weekend on the farms. Furthermore, school spirit is also now at an all time high with the new Captain Avon on campus. Travis Kozak has done a great job rallying up students and getting them pumped to attend sporting events and help cheer on the winged beavers. With the help of WAOF videos and Ryan Phillips’s pump up videos for the Avon Army, the football team has jumped out to a dominating 2-0 start. Varsity soccer posting a 2-1-2 record is also looking to have a promising year. The cross country team has beaten 3 out of the 4 teams that they have raced against this fall as well. All in all this looks like it will be a very promising year at Avon and could possibly be the most exciting one that I will ever experience here
Produced by Ryan Phillips
Produced By Ryan Phillips